I have many people ask if things can change, can I be less anxious, more confident, can my relationship or marriage be helped. All good questions. We all tend to search the internet as a start, and of course there are many ‘hits’ you may even find me this way. An important consideration is to think about how you want to feel, rather than how you do not want to feel. This may seem strange, but I do not want to smoke, whilst a good idea leads you to the problem, I am going to be a non smoker or I do not smoke is stronger leading you to the desired place. Similarly I am fed up feeling worthless is negative, decide what is prefered – I am confidant and strong or self assured is better. A change in your thinking is better but not an immediate fix, but it can help. Therapy can help you find a way to do this hence us therapists.
How to choose the right person or therapy approach? Think about you – do you like to explore how you feel, or how did I get like this – or do you want to just get on with it. This can vary from person to person and problem to problem. Next, talk to a therapist, discuss the issues and desired outcomes – how does it feel, do they seem right to you? I think I am a good therapist but if you talk to me and it feels wrong – and it does not matter why, then look elsewhere. Obviously after 20 different people maybe there is something getting in the way, but I believe you will find the right therapist for you quite quickly and your changes will occur.